My husband and in-laws gave my daughter formula a few times. I didn't want it to be done and hated it. The first time Drew gave Charis formula I cried for an hour. But, sometimes I didn't have enough milk pumped in the freezer or some spilled or I was cancelled and the milk I took out of the freezer the night before was wasted, and I was not able to replace it as quickly as I would have been able to had I worked, or I had to be at the hospital until 9:00 PM because my patient was crashing that day and had to do catch up charting.I have since come to realize a few things. Breastfeeding my daughter was an idol, and it should not have been. My worth is not in whether or not my daughter is breastfed, but it's in Christ. I looked down on mother's who were not able to breastfeed exclusively and that too was wrong. Does that mother care for and love her baby? If she does, then who cares how she feeds her baby? Her baby is not entrusted to me. I viewed myself as a failure, but this did not make me a failure. Yes, I tried to be more careful about how much milk I had and my husband would give her the breastmilk first, then the formula if he ran out. I also realized I should be thankful that I was able to breastfeed without many issues.
So even though I regret the fact that my daughter received formula, it's bitter-sweet what happened. I'm more understanding of when parents choose formula.