Saturday night, my 5 month old woke up not once, but five times. 8 AM Sunday, I cried. It was officially the fifth time he woke up since 12 AM, and he was not going back to sleep. Drew helped out and got up with Charis and the baby.
Sunday night, Lil' J woke up four times. That is not including the two times I finished nursing him, put him back in his crib, and he woke up crying again within 10 minutes. Both of those times, I picked him back up and nursed him again on both breasts. Monday morning, I was exhausted, impatient, and felt like I was losing my mind.
All day Monday, my son wanted to be attached to me for what seemed 24/7. It dawned on me that Lil' J is going through a growth spurt. I'm kicking myself for not realizing it sooner.
These days are sometimes hard, but they are a reminder for me: I am human, frail, and weak. I can't do everything. I am not God. These days help bring me to my knees in prayer and flee to Christ. I need God's grace and His strength. My weakness [tiredness] is from God. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
But he [God] said to me [Paul], "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.If you are like me, "in the throes of motherhood" or in any difficulty, look to Christ. Fall on Jesus. Pray. Worship God. Sing. Fellowship with other believers. No, these are not a cure-all, but I find when I do these things, I am strengthened in my soul.