How do we get rid of shame? By faith. We realize that we cannot rescue ourselves from shame; only God can do anything about the shame we have. Heather mentions that even though there are those who may fail us (example was given of King David failing Tamar), we have a perfect king (Jesus) who promises his people, "Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame."Shame lives in the community... It says, "You don't belong-you are unacceptable, unclean, and disgraced" because "You are wrong, you have sinned" or "Wrong has been done to you" or "You are associated with those who are disgraced or outcast." The shamed person feels worthless, expects rejection, and needs cleansing, fellowship [community], love, and acceptance. (p. 22)
Heather deals specifically with various types of shame:
- Body shame
- Social shame
- Performance shame
- Shame in marriage
- Shame-free parenting
My thoughts:When I read the acknowledgments and the author mentioning Ed Welch, I immediately thought of CCEF. As I continued on reading, I read the definitions given for shame and guilt. I had a Déjà vu moment. I remember reading this definition in Hidden Agendas by Steve Brown.
At various times in my life, I have had shame in each of the five types above. One of my most frequent causes of shame is not having the perfect, cleanest house. In fact, it often seems like the opposite. So much so that I dread when we have company over. I know friends who have cleaner houses, and I've heard a few comments from people commenting on lack of cleanliness in others houses. So, I often find myself lonely because I'm stuck at home with little human, adult interaction. (One of the reasons, I blog, listen to different podcasts/sermons, etc.) Or I have been brushed aside when offering cleaning advice to acquaintances because I'm a "messy" person. Needless to say, this book helped refocus where my attention should be.
I like that this book did not give a formulaic list of rules; many times, books about similar topics give x amount of steps and then all will be well.
This is one book that I plan on keeping and re-reading again in the near future.
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