Wife, Mummy, Nurse: Are Fairy Tale Endings Possible?

02 August 2016

Are Fairy Tale Endings Possible?

Do you believe it's possible for some people to get that fairy tale ending of happily ever after? No.

Note: Before you think that I am unhappy in my marriage, that is not the case. Drew and I are happily married. We love our children. That said, our marriage has had its ups and downs. Before I started dating Drew, I definitely treated having a boyfriend and marriage as an idol. (A sin of mine.) I (mistakenly) thought of my future husband as a mini-god. I thought, "Life will be great. I won't have to worry about finances. I will be able to have children and stay at home with them. I will be the perfect wife and mother." (God was gracious in giving me Drew and also humbled me to realized that our daily bread comes from God.)

In Walt Disney movies, we are taught that once the heroines were married, they live happily ever after, but that is not always the case. Yes, in marriage, there is definitely joy, but there is also suffering. Almost 7 years ago, Drew and I exchanged marriage vows:
I pledge you my troth, according to God's holy ordinance, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward until the end of our days, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do us part.
Even in our marriage vows, we said that we would be faithful to each other "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do us part."

In my own marriage, at times we have wondered how we were going to be able to buy groceries the next week or even month. At one time, we only had $20 in our bank account. I have been questioned by "friends" about if I should have married my husband since he was not able to "provide financially". Hello, it's a bit late to ask that; he's my husband. And even if he was able to "provide financially" in the beginning, there's nothing to say that 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road that he will continue to "provide financially". We've had to put having more children on hold due to finances, and I have been to one to bear most of the grief about this-from friends (who think birth control is sinful) and myself (treating children as an idol).

Before getting married, I thought, "I want to have 6 children. Enough to have a basketball team with one substitute." Yes, it could still happen, but I have come to realized more and more that my plans may not be God's plans. We need to trust in Him and to seek Him in prayer.

We have also had many happy times: Births of two children. My graduation from Slippery Rock University with a BSN. Drew completing his PhD. (That had a lot of turmoil, late nights, and crying on both our parts.) Our siblings getting married. 3 nieces being born. 1 nephew born. 1 nephew on the way.

The last seven years, I have realized that marriage does not bring eternal bliss. Drew is a sinner, and I am a sinner. We are two sinners relying on God and pray that He will use us to bring Him glory.

Do you think it's possible for people to get the fairy tale ending of happily ever after? This is today's BlogHer Writing lab August 2016 Prompt.

5 comments:

  1. I am sorry that people are judging you and your choices. Only God can judge us and we are taught not to judge each other. We all have to make choices in our lives and I believe that we end up on the correct path. You are right to be happy with what you have and wait to see what the universe puts in your path.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That last paragraph sums it up perfectly. And it's exactly how I feel with my marriage.
    I think people are misled into thinking marriages should be fairytale at all times. And that we should idolize our spouses, which is wrong. God comes first, then family. And we should love our spouses as much during the hard times as during the easy times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. God doesn't always give us what we think our "happy ever after" will be. I wanted a dozen kids. :-) Oh, He knew better than me. I believe our happy ever after is share ALL of life together. When we lost our Sarah (house fire) I don't think I could have gone though it without RB by my side. When our daughter's hit milestones, I wouldn't have wanted to celebrate without him. That's my "happy ever after."

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think each and every marriage is different. To know that you must rely on God, is great. We have had our ups and downs, just like most, even if they don't admit it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think every marriage is different and yes even though there are rough patches it can definitely feel like a fairy tale too :)

    ReplyDelete